Time to call it quits Relationships: Signs It Might Be Time to Call it Quits Relationships: Signs It Might Be Time to Call it Quits
Reaching the point where you think the best thing to do is end a relationship can be a very difficult realization to come to. Usually there are strong emotions attached to relationships and, due to these feelings, things are often not so black and white when trying to decide what to do.
For many people, making the decision to end a relationship is difficult no matter what the circumstances are that lead to this conclusion. When trying to decide whether or not to break up with a partner, there is a lot to consider. On one hand, you probably don't want to do anything rash since you may have invested much time and energy in the relationship. On the other hand, you don't want to continue an unhealthy or unhappy situation either. When strong emotions are involved it is sometimes hard to think clearly, and these feelings may muddle the situation.
There are many behaviors or situations which may call for the end of a relationship, but as with all choices in life, it is wise to consider the consequences of either staying or ending the relationship. In relationships bad things can happen which may make you want to end the relationship, but the key is deciding whether you will regret the decision later. Can you live with the outcome?
Every situation is unique and, depending on the investment in the relationship, there are some common situations where it might be time to call it quits. Some actions and behaviors definitely can make the decision much easier.
If abuse is occurring in any shape or form, this needs to be addressed. Verbal or physical abuse should not be tolerated in any relationship. Victims are often made to feel as if they somehow did something to deserve or encourage the abuse. This is never acceptable.
Salvaging a relationship and getting past abuse is sometimes possible with outside counseling or intervention, but if the abuser is not willing to take responsibility and get help, or worse, continues to blame the victim, this is a strong signal the relationship should end.
Unhealthy relationships can come in many shapes and forms. An unhealthy relationship can be loosely connected to abuse but may not be full-blown abuse. Either way, it still something important to evaluate in a relationship.
Being in a harmful relationship may be that one partner puts the other down or takes a domineering stance, or it could mean two people are simply not good for one another. In some cases one person is too dependent on the other, or there is a co-dependency or unhealthy addiction to each other.
Additionally, if the relationship is not founded on love but instead is about ownership, dependency or some other unhealthy connection, perhaps it is time to cut the strings that bond and move on.
When infidelity happens there is often an underlying reason for the cheating which often has little or nothing to do with sex. If one partner has strayed outside the relationship it is important to talk about it with one another and get to the root of why the cheating occurred.
On occasion the underlying cause has something to do with the relationship's dynamic and nothing to do with cheating. In these cases the cheating occurred because one partner began to look elsewhere in other people for the facets that were lacking in their own relationship. In these situations if the dynamic can be repaired in the relationship, the infidelity desires of the cheater evaporate, however this is not always an easy hurdle to cross in a committed relationship.
Some people can work through an infidelity, but often the problems which led to one partner cheating may be so deep-rooted it is hard to overcome. This could be a good enough reason to end a relationship, especially if the cheating patterns are repetitive, no remorse is present and the straying partner shows no signs of wanting to get to the root of the problem which led to the infidelity in the first place.
The burden of cheating is a tough one for both the cheater and the betrayed partner. If the relationship is to survive, both a willingness to change (from the cheater) and forgiveness (by the betrayed partner) is a big part of it.
A primary block in a relationship's foundation is trust, and once trust is broken the relationship's base cracks and there is high potential it can end up collapsing. When considering ending the relationship you should think about whether or not you will be able to trust your partner again.
For instance, it is important to ask yourself whether this is a first time fib, a little white lie or a serious breach of trust. If the lie was over something trivial it may not be worth ending a relationship, especially if there has been years of established and committed trust. However, if the lie was something so terrible or a pattern of lying behavior that is habitual where a mate can't ever be trusted, this is a reason to consider ending the relationship. Discovering a pattern of lies and deceit is not always easy to get past.
The bottom line is whether or not you can accept the lie(s) and move forward or if you can trust your partner again and get over this hurdle.
There are some relationships built upon other factors other than love, but if you don't love your partner and your partner is head over heels for you it is not fair to either of you to continue the relationship. The same goes if you love your partner and he or she does not reciprocate the same feelings. Over the course of time there may be resentment or other negative feelings that emerge because the feelings aren't mutual. This is seldom good for the long haul in a partnership.
Ending a relationship is not always an easy decision to make, but keep in mind, avoiding conflict won't resolve the problems either. If you are pondering calling it quits, think about of all facets of the partnership when making a final decision. Whether or not your consideration to end the relationship is based on one action or an overall situation, it is seldom good to act with haste. Instead you want to consider taking a step back and evaluating the relationship completely. You might feel differently in the morning.
If after carefully evaluating your situation and considering life with and without the relationship as a part of your life, you envision a much happier existence without dealing with the problems in the relationship - then it may be time to call it quits.